By Helena Kaufman :
While you are working on your effective outgoing message, are you also sending sabotaging messages to yourself?
“You’re a fake.”
“I wish I didn’t have this hair.”
“I don’t have what it takes to get this contract.”
It can start with simple, small, criticism of yourself. Yet, how you talk to yourself affects you to your core. Your inner dialogue and comments support your public image and help you express your personality in a way that attracts people to you and leads to social and professional success.
Catch your self- talk and reframe those tiny and incessant conversations before they undermine the foundation of confidence you rely on. Send yourself positive messages to be the effective, self assured person who can fulfill their full potential.
For some people the manipulation of the words of their outgoing messages, such as elevator speeches, may trigger an inner crisis. Then, self doubt and sabotage rush in.
What do you need to turn it around?
First, Be aware that:
Perception is Reality
That instant and surface impression you give others is what they have to go on. It’s how they will interpret what comes after.
Similarly, what you say about yourself leaves an impression on you, real or not. Have you ever said, “Oh, I ALWAYS mess things up.” Do you really make a mess? Is it fair to say ‘always’?
When you send repeated messages of failure, you program yourself to believe that reality and make it happen. Give yourself credit, strive for and expect competence, and you may reach excellence.
Your inner voice is sneaky and subtle
You may not even be aware anymore of the one person coffee party of criticism and self blame your hold. While, we all have different reasons for why our inner voice can be our internal enemy it’s time to spill that bitter brew and transform your expectations of yourself. Say positive things to encourage your actions now and your potential.
When you take note of your own responses and prompts, you will find out if you are sending those supportive, confidence boosting messages or not.
Do you congratulate yourself when you are doing well? Are you negative to or supportive of yourself? Resolve to recognize your successes. Enough situations exist for others to belittle you, no need to add to that noise. Make it a parade of praise and you’ll turn being sensitive and then supportive into a positive habit, naturally.
Endeavour to End the Negative Habit
Attach a graphic to times when you notice your bad talk- a big bold STOP sign for example. Hear the inner voice that defeats you or drags you down and stop it permanently!
To turn it around – talk positively to your brain. Science has proven it will rise to meet your expectations.
1. Detail your dreams. Be specific as to where you are going and you will arrive there successfully.
2. Frame your thoughts as a positive statement. “I will treat myself with love.” Rather than, I won’t abuse myself with negative behaviour.
3. Use your full mind to make matters better – say, see and feel your mission. Feed your mind the good stuff, it’s always listening and trying to make it happen for you.
4. Repeat your positive phrases until your mind echoes them back.
VIP: Perceptions open doors which lead to opportunities that help you meet your goals. You can change the quality of your life, one positive phrase at a time, directed lovingly at yourself.