By Jay Timms :What an awesome word. In that one word, we sum up the most intense of all of man’s fears. We describe the feeling a parent has as they look into the eyes of their hungry children and try to explain why daddy still can’t get a job, using big words like “economy” and “downturn”. We describe the feeling we have as we watch the person that we thought we loved walk away because we just “didn’t listen enough”. We describe the feeling of what it is to loose your house as we look at the mounting bills and compare it to the empty pocket. We describe the feeling of having a great idea that everyone else says will never work. We describe the feeling of trying to help our children understand the values that we hold dear, then watch as they mock those values by conforming to what is “popular”.
It seems so trite to say, “Just keep going. It will get better soon.” Ya, right. When? The truth? The truth is, I don’t know when. When you are looking down the barrel of a shotgun, you can’t tell when. But what if you did just hold on for another second? What if you decided to take a deep breath and pray for the strength to live one more day? What if…?
The truth about failure is that everyone experiences it at sometime. Whether great or small, we will all have to face it to some degree. Failure in and of its self is not scary. Think about it. How many times did you fail at tying your shoelaces? Dozens? Hundreds? That isn’t scary. Frustrating, but not scary. What is frightening about failure is that failure or the fear of failure usually includes one of three questions. The first is, “if this doesn’t work, then what?” The second is “what if I loose everything in the process?” and finally, “what will people think of me?” Let’s dissect those for a second.
“If this doesn’t work, then what?” I think many of us are afraid that we have limited amounts of resources and only so many “great ideas”. I wonder where that comes from? That is not a rhetorical question. I truly wonder. My guess is that there isn’t a set number of great ideas that one person can have. That being the case, then try something else. I am not trying to be a jerk here, but seriously…try something else.
“What if I loose everything in the process?” I personally have never lost “everything” so I cannot speak with any authority on it. I have lost many things though. I have lost my wife, my child, my home, my job, my dignity, and my desire to live all within a space of 2 weeks. But I have never lost “everything”. I would venture to bet that you will not loose “everything” either. You may loose much of what you value. You may feel like there is no hope for tomorrow, but you will not loose “everything”. Money and resources are like a great lake. There is an abundance for everyone. Even if you use up what you have, you may go back to the lake and get more. You may choose to only take a spoon full, or a bucket full, or a dump truck full. It doesn’t mind because there is lots to go around and it will always be there. You will not loose “everything”.
“What will people think?” Yes, that is a big worry. I think many of us spend time worrying about what others will think. I know it has been a concern of mine many times. But stop and think about it for a second. What if everyone you knew thought you were a fool? How would that impact your life? How would that stop you from progressing? People can have influence over your life, but nobody can truly stop you from being what you want to become. What is the worst that could happen? What is the worst they could think? Then what? What if you chose not to spend time worrying about what others think? How much time would that free up for you? Seriously…think about that. How much time would you have on your hands if you chose not to worry about what others thought? Imagine what you could do with that time. Incredible.
What an awesome word. And yet, it is just 7 letters strung together. What those 7 letters in a row means really is up to you.
Jay Timms BMT, MA, CCC
Author, Presenter, Wellness Consultant
Relationship and Family Counsellor
Trivita Affiliate #13442869