As an educator, many times I have been in the classroom teaching to blank faces and then I share a story around the main points of the lesson and bang, blank faces are transformed and I see heads nodding and other signs of understanding. That’s the power of the story.
Here is one mom’s powerful story about a journey that she embarked on to motherhood. This is a journey that took her from one province to another with the help of the Ministry of Children and Family Development, and ended with her being the adoptive mom of a beautiful little girl with a bubbly personality and an engaging smile.
In February of 2006, the unexpected call came. A little girl was currently going through court proceedings and might become available for adoption via crown ward. Although I had been feeling and questioning the urge to take the next step towards parenthood, I was still enjoying being single and having all my time to myself. Because it was so out of left field, I knew it deserved careful thought and consideration. Over the next month or so, I prayed and contemplated if it was the right thing to do. Finally the answer came, the decision was made….
yes! So I made the call to 1-877-ADOPT-07, and started the proceedings.
Within 4 months I was on a plane to Toronto. Could I contain myself? Not a chance…I was excited, a bit scared, doubtful about timing, and sending myself crazy asking all the usual questions. AM I SURE ABOUT WHAT I M DOING! In my head I had questions but in my heart I was happy, really happy. The one thing I always knew was that it was the right thing!! After a life time of living with extended family, 20+ years of being a foster family and having my parents’ home be the community help hotline, I finally realized God had already prepared me for this moment, and, whatever doubts I had, he certainly dispelled along the way.
The big day was here; as I rang the doorbell I mentally remembered everyone’s words: if you decide it’s not for you at any point, don’t be afraid to change your mind. The door opened, the introductions were made and the anxiety was building inside to meet her. Finally the moment came and it wasn’t love at first sight…it was a stare down! I gave her a look that said, ‘Are you the one’, and she gave me one that said, ‘Are you worthy of me’. I spent 3 months visiting her after work, keeping her on vacation and picking her up every weekend. My day began at 5 a.m. and ended at 11 p.m. Painful yes, but I was enjoying it!! Within 2 hours of picking her up one weekend, she came down with a fever because she was teething. Although it was a truly trying time, it ended being a silver lining. We bonded, I became a part of her and she became a part of me.
The rest as they say is history. I spent a year calling every weekend and proving to myself that distance really does make the heart grow fonder. We are now a couple of weeks shy of our 6 months and she is always teaching me to be the best that I can be! I guess it wouldn’t t be motherhood if we didn’t have moments like these but oh my goodness she is so much fun!! In the words of my daughter’s favourite song, “I’m blessed, I’m truly blessed.” I have a child that not only do I love but I also like. While I just want to keep her all to myself and drink her up, she teaches me everyday to risk opening myself up to loving others unconditionally a little more. I’ve learned it’s a lifetime adjustment. Whether a foster, adoptive or a birth parent, I guess we are constantly reminded to take things a day at a time. That with God, patience, common sense and love, you’ll always make it somehow, if you believe and have a little faith somehow.
Two weeks ago, I met this family of mother and daughter and was immediately embraced by both of them. What struck me was how alike they both were. Yes, they were both Afro-Canadians, but it went beyond the physical appearances. Isn’t it amazing how they found each other! This would not have happened if this courageous mom had not called 1-877-ADOPT-07and embarked on her journey towards adoption. There are many other children of Afro heritage waiting for forever families, call 1-877-ADOPT-07 today.
Until next time, one love…
Black is the berry’s sweetest nectar
Black is the night the stars shine the brightest
Black is the land of all beginnings
Black is the beat of the music of my soul
By Sophia Barton-Bucknor